I have a lot of thoughts going on in my head right now. First of all I don’t feel my best. I feel crappy and annoyed. I want to go back to bed and sulk. And I have friendship melodrama which I should just nip in the bud. I need to be stronger but sometimes I feel like I just want to sleep. Sleeping is easier. Sleeping doesn’t require much effort. People don’t talk to you when you’re sleeping.
Its crazy how one thing or two can crack your sanity. I feel like mine is lost today. I feel mad at the world and cautious of others. People suck. So does that in turn mean I suck. It’s just that a couple of things that have happened today is making me upset. I don’t know how to move past it. And I am not the cheery girl nor can I pretend to be. How do you move past certain things that make you upset and not let it ruin your day.
A friend of mine says you have to fight for happiness. Being miserable seems so much more fun and peaceful. Happiness seems so far beyond my reach, it’s like a distant land. Food makes me happy but I am supposed to be cutting back. How can you cut one of the only things that make you happy? Right now I don’t feel like fighting to be happy. I just don’t. I think the worst part is I am tired as hell.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
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